about this blog:
this is a personal journal of my life. my day, my loves, my dreams, my ups and downs, my rants and raves and everything and anything i can dream up in between.
...including my crazy and chaotic thoughts.
most especially my crazy and chaotic thoughts.
@--,--'--
about me:
another daunting task.
i never could describe myself, even in job interviews and first time introductions, i find that my descriptions are always lacking. maybe because i still don't know myself well yet... nah. it's because i'm a pretty complicated person in the first place.
anyway, its a personal blog, not meant to be widely read, but for those of you who stayed long enough to click on the about post, i'm gonna at least try.
i'm rochelle marie, rochelle to the outside world, may to family, roche to a very few (extremely few friends, i can count only three or four, in fact, who call me roche), baby and chell to my husband, and chelle to friends.
i find that my age is a significant part of who i am, so i'm just gonna mention it here and get it over with - i'm 30. although i don't feel old, i feel like there are so many things i still haven't done, that is why my age is significant, i'm in my second half of my life already - my second chance and i know that this thought is sweet and morbid at the same time.
...sweet because, well... i love second chances. from experience, second chances are sweeter than the first time. i've always been a fan of "two old friends meeting again, wearing older faces, talking about the places they've been" and second-try success stories. it simply signifies that if you screw up the first time - hey, you can always try again, and this time - don't screw it up.
so, again, 30. i'm listing up things i want to do and places i want to see, and decisions that should have been made when i was 19 going on 20. but like i said - here's my second chance.
...and morbid because its as though im gonna die at 60, and thats waaay too young. my kids would only be 30 then, the same age as i am now, and i just know this age is too young for their mom (or grandma perhaps?) to die.
ok, going back, about me. i'm a big fan of run-on sentences, commas, hyphens, and ellipsis.
(from wiki: ellipsis -Not to be confused with
ellipse.)
Ellipsis (plural ellipses; from Greek ἔλλειψις 'omission') in printing and writing refers to the row of three full stops (... or . . . ) or asterisks (***) indicating an intentional omission. This punctuation mark is also called a suspension point, points of ellipsis, periods of ellipsis, or colloquially, dot-dot-dot. An ellipsis is sometimes used to indicate a pause in speech, an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis).
teheee! - i just love the sound of that - "dot-dot-dot."
in connection, i also have a habit of ranting and going off topic.
i grew up around sesame street and english cartoons and english sitcoms and movies. needless to say, i can speak and write the language fairly well, heck my everyday job even calls for me to be grammatically correct 98% of the time - but as this is MY blog. i really dont care (much) (sometimes) (OK so i CARE!) (but i dont want to) (and thats really the point) (of what) (i forgot) anyway.
did i mention that i talk to myself. and that there are two me's. yes. uh-huh. okay. so i'm crazy. i'm also a gemini - so that explains it. it explains everything for me actually. because im bipolar (well, not really. i use the term loosely - it just means i can go both ends of extremes in a range of emotions and opinions).
in connection with being bipolar (again, using the term very loosely) im also an obsessive compulsive (and again, loosely) which means, im gonna preview this post after every paragraph to check for errors, im gonna change a sentence if it doesn't feel right (even if it did when i was writing it) even those that i've already posted a few days back. it also means, i check and double check and triple check if doors are closed, if i plugged in my charger after i already checked it the first two times, if i remember to remember the things im supposed to remember - which further means, i write things down a lot (i have close to 10 notebooks at this point- all active) and about 4 "active ballpens" and a drawerful of other pens i bought years and years ago, which i dont use, but i might, but i dont, but i still keep them "just in case" - all for writing to-do lists.
oddly though, im bad with names and numbers. and when i say bad. i mean really bad. i've had so many times when i meet someone and i just cant remember their names at all. and these are significant people from my past. nope, i haven't forgotten them, i can remember everything about them - just not their names. i know, terrible right? same goes for song title and singers, movie titles and actors, books and authors.
but, i can remember how i felt with the person, how a particular someone or something touched my life, the feelings surrounding a song and my opinions of a movie or a book. i can remember the events surrounding my life when i was with the person, or the first time i heard a song... and it stays with me forever.
which is why i love old songs and old movies, and books that i read and watch and listen to over and over again. i'm not much for the "now" music, im more into really really really old songs.
oh and im a crafter. i love doing things with my hands, jewelry, papercrafts, sewing, crochet, etc. but lets reserve this is for another post.
@--,--'--
here's another take in describing myself.
i'm a... good listener || frustrated thespian|| do-it-yourselfer || emotional wreck || obsessive-compulsive || solitary player || on a diet forever || pa-cute || chronic daydreamer || addicted to old songs || glass half full || hopeless romantic || gemini through and through || neat freak || curious cat || idealist || needle-phobic || unusually punctual || extremely shy || to-do-list fanatic || sensual (wink! wink!) || passionate chinita.
@--,--'--
and finally, here's something i always use to describe myself in interviews. this was actually taken from an online psych test that fit me to a tee.
Your Emotions: dynamic and active, strong-willed and decisive, unemotional (yup, i can be or rather, i'm good at pretending to be when the situation calls for it), independent, compulsive need for change.
You at Work: Born leader, not easily discouraged, goal-oriented, organizes well, often sees the whole picture and seeks practical solutions, spontaneous (im having second thoughts on this though), insists on production, stimulates activity and thrives on opposition (huh?), is usually right (hehe this is funny), often excels during emergencies, has little need for friends (oh my gosh) but will work for group activity, optimistic.
@--,--'--
i know this is a very self-serving post. and as always i feel like its still lacking but at the same time, i feel like i've said too much.
anyway, i know i wanted to share something about myself and at least i've accomplished that and writing all this is indeed a very daunting task, especially coming from someone who is a very private person.
you see, i keep my mind and heart guarded all the time... but i now find that i'm having a change of heart, it's time for a change... maybe i don't have to be so obsessive, maybe im fighting some of the bad things about me, maybe i can still be some of the things i want to be, yep. and this is my goal.
... so there, this is me, breaking out of my chelle.
"im a very passionate person. in everything i do, i put my all. when i work, i work to perfection, when i love i love with all my heart, and when i put my mind on something, i get it done, or i will die trying" @--,--'--
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Thursday, September 20, 2007
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8:59 AM
